Self care isn’t selfish, its self-preserving

2017 was the year I hit rock bottom. Ok that’s a *slight* exaggeration and it could have been a lot worse but it was a real test of character and strength. I suffered loss in a number of different ways and for someone who thrives on control I learnt the hard way that I have to focus on my own well being before anything else.

Have you ever heard the saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup”?

The metaphor perfectly sums up the approach to life that everyone should follow and one that I neglected for a long time.
It basically means prioritising self-care and perceiving it as a necessity rather than as an indulgence. Not to the point of being a complete an utter selfish knob of course but to always check in with yourself to make sure you’re ok.

Iffy Stone Cable Knit Dress

The best way to practise this art of self-care is to remember to check your cup and top it up before it gets too low. Spend a little time every single day replenishing your cup. Prayer, meditation, working out and other self-care activities all help to refill your metaphorical cup. Something that most people tend to overlook is that the cup needs to be filled ever single day. It’s not a one off thing, or even once in a while. I mean, if you were driving a car, your fuel tank would need to be checked every time you got into your car to drive it, right?

The other very big mistake that’s often made is giving others what’s in your cup, when that’s actually meant for YOU.

When in fact, what we’re supposed to give is the overflow.

The start of 2018 was full of determination for me. My usual laid back, “we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it” approach to life just wasn’t cutting it anymore and I decided I wanted to do better; I wanted to *be* better – for myself. Here are a few things that I’ve been doing to help my cup poureth over.

Joining the gym:
I’ve said for the longest time that I wanted to join. I wished so hard that I could be the kind of person who enjoyed going but something just put me off. I decided to choose to join a women only gym which for me is perfect. it’s small but it works for me. I feel less awkward and can just get on with it.
Some weeks it’s been hard to fit gym in, bearing in mind I work almost full time, blog part time and have a 3 hour commute daily. I’ve tried not to beat myself up over it when I don’t go and also to fit in work outs at home if I cant make it there. I want to want to go rather than being forced.

Recently my skin hasn’t been playing very nice and I’ve been having more bad days than good. As much as I love trying out lots of different products and I will definitely continue to, I’ve started being more meticulous about my skincare routine. I’m removing my makeup as soon as I get home so that it has more time to breathe and I’ve invested in Niod Copper Amino Isolate Serum because it sounds AMAZING. I’ve ditched unnecessary toning (as recommended by my dermatologist) and I’m moisturising wayy more than I used to. I’m also getting through as much water as I can. Hoping to see results in my skin real soon!

From November to January last year, my sister stayed over at mine having had a baby and boy did I binge on junk food. I literally tried as many different kinds of takeaway options as I could on Just Eat and Uber Eats to the point where we’re now on first name basis with a few restaurants. I’m happy to report that I’ve now stopped with the takeaways and biscuits and I guess now that I’m going to the gym I’m thinking about food differently too. My body (and bank balance) seem much happier!

Staying organised:
Every year I start a bullet journal. I want it to be all fancy and pretty and then I make a mistake or get lazy and come the end of January, that’s the end of that lol. This year I’m taking a more straightforward approach. Less Pinterest worthy and more functional.  I’ve downloaded Trello to help me see exactly what I’ve done, what I’m doing and what I need to get on top of.

Digital detoxing:
I’m still not over how great my digital detox left me feeling.  Definitely going to be continung with this more throughout the year.  Read more about it here.

Lastly, I have trouble sleeping.  I wake every few hours and really struggle to fall asleep but I’m making a huge effort to go to bed earlier and keeping my phone away from me. After all, your body repairs itself much more when you’re sleeping.

I still have a long long way to go but I think I’m off to a good start. Self care isn’t selfish, its self-preserving.

What do you do to practise self-care?

3 comments so far.

What are your thoughts?

3 responses to “Self care isn’t selfish, its self-preserving”

  1. Emma says:

    I love this post, it’s hard to remember to look after yourself sometimes and we don’t remember how important it is until it’s too late.

    I’ve been trying to spend more time on self-care but still see it as a luxury sometimes which I need to stop doing, we’ll get there in the end I’m sure!

  2. I like to get out and have a walk, a bit of quiet time alone helps recharge the batteries.

  3. Parie Joshi says:

    I couldn’t agree more!! I love taking time out by reading and having a digital detox, so refreshing xx

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