1. The barista that insists you use the proper terms. I mean what is that all about? I seem to have the same repetitive conversation in whichever store I go to. Me: I’ll have a small hazelnut hot chocolate please with skimmed milk. Barista: A tall skinny hazelnut hot chocolate?? Me: Yes a small hot chocolate with skimmed milk. Followed by a steely stare where I refuse to back down and the Barista must accept defeat.
2. The fact that they don’t let you write your own name on your cup. Surely it would make sense to have a pile of cups and a few pens at the beginning of the queue, let us scribble our names and we hand the cup over? But no, Starbucks insist on allowing Barista’s to run amok and misspell simple names like the time when my friend name Holly said “that’s Holly with a Y” ended up with a cup with “Yolly” written on it.
3. The Pumpkin Spiced Latte craze. That is all.
4. The hype about the cups. The Autumn cups, the red cups, I mean they’re just paper cups no?
5. Starbucks hot chocolate is never hot. I know I know, I’ve heard the whole spiel about it being made ready to drink but I don’t want my luke warm chocolate to be a frappucino by the time I take it into work.
6. The fact that I can’t actually afford the ridiculous amount they charge for a small hot chocolate but I can’t help but go in an make an order. Damn you willpower!!
7. The C word. Who knew your favourite Starbucks drink was laden with enough calories to fill half your daily quota. One caramel frappucino and you’re only allowed to eat dust for the rest of the day I’m afraid.
8. The sad fact that the Taylor Swift lyric (for Blank Space) did not actually go “Got a long list of Starbucks lovers”.